thrashturbate:

10/10 would bang.

But also:

10/10 would care for you
10/10 would tuck you in
10/10 would cuddle
10/10 would make sure you get to sleep okay
10/10 would make you breakfast in the morning

(via deceptible)

grinderman2:

me in high school: omg cant wait for college
me in college: omg cant wait for the 10 years between retirement and the cold embrace of the grave

(via penis-hilton)

Who am I to you? Anonymously leave a fruit or two in my inbox.

Apple: I haven't really taken notice of you so far.

Honeydew: You fascinate me.

Banana: You annoy me.

Mullberry: Mostly I tolerate you on my dash.

Cherry: You make me uncomfortable.

Orange: I love your blog, but I'm not very interested in you personally.

Grapefruit: I don't care so much for your blog, but I'm rather interested in you as a person.

Kiwi: Love your blog, equally interested in you as a person.

Pineapple: I think about you even when I'm not on tumblr.

Rasberry: I'm not even aware I'm re-blogging from you when I do.

Strawberry: I wasn't even aware I was following you. How did that happen?

Mango: I wouldn't mind talking to you if you ever messaged me, but it's not that big of a deal to me.

Apple: I would really like to talk to you, but I never will initiate it.

Guava: I have no interest in talking with you on here.

Blueberry: Sometimes, I like and re-blog posts from you just to get your attention.

Cantaloupe: I often avoid liking and re-blogging your post so I don't draw your attention.

Watermelon: I'm not very interested in you or your blog, I'm just too lazy to unfollow you.

Elderberry: I've anon-ed you something personal before.

Pumpkin: I've anon-ed you a compliment before.

Kumquat: I've anon-ed you hate before.

Lemon: Never anon-ed you before, probably won't again.

Lime: We've never talked and I prefer to keep it that way.

Papaya: We used to talk but we don't anymore and that makes me sad.

Rhubarb: We used to talk and we don't anymore and I prefer it that way.

Tangerine: We talk on here sometimes and I want it to continue.

Plum: Meh.